Sunday, September 10, 2006


Sorry about missing last week. The move to New York was hectic, and the process of getting internet access continues to be hectic. But to make it up to you, I'll be posting not just one entry for today, not just two entries for this and last week, but three entries today. So enjoy.

Where’s the bathroom?

You’re almost done with your shopping, and thanks to that soda you’ve been carrying around (and yes, I can throw out the bottle for you once it’s paid for), you have to go. So you ask me where the restroom is.

Turns out, it’s right behind you. And you actually could have found that out on your own. How?

Look up.

There’s a large sign hanging from the ceiling that reads “Rest Rooms.” That would be where the restroom is. Often, you are standing directly under it when the need presents itself.

There’s also a large sign hanging from the ceiling that reads “Fitting Room.” That would be where the fitting room is. Trying things on is a great way to avoid having to return them (although I’ll give the men a break; the fitting room is tucked neatly between little girls’ clothing and maternity wear. Awkward).

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Not all of the signs are hanging from the ceiling. Some are attached to the walls. Scrawled across the wall in neon lights are the phrases “Guest Service,” “Electronics,” and “Grocery,” to name a few.

Some of the signs are less obvious. The ATM has a small “ATM” sign hanging over it, but since the machine is in a corner next to Guest Service, you’re unlikely to see the sign from across the store. Fair enough.

Generally, though, you can find any department in the store by looking up. You can find out which registers are open by looking up. You can find the Taco Bell by looking up.

Supposedly, the last place anyone looks for anything is up. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to give you…

A heads-up.

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